Friday, January 14, 2011

Did you feel that?

This week we’re talking about scenes we like to write, dislike, and the hardest we've ever written, and why? I’m going to talk about Love.

I’ve been in love. Or have I? I thought I was--a few times. Is there a difference between thinking you’re in love, and being in love? Damn, maybe I’ve only been in love in my mind! What is the real indicator that you are in love? What defines it? A touch, a smell, a word, or a look? See where I’m going with this.

Writing about being in love is the most difficult part of writing for me!

I’ve written ménages, male/male, male/female...oh, one of those ménages started off as a female/female/male ménage. When I wrote that, no one wanted it--I still don’t know why. It was about love. Sometimes I wonder if I conveyed that well enough in the story.

When my men are together, do readers feel the love they have for their partner? Do they get the feeling I know what I’m talking about when I have my heroes or heroine fall in love? I’m not talking about physical love--that’s sex. *grin* (I like writing that!) I’m talking about the real feeling of, I-love-you-and-I-will-always-love-you-even-after-hell-freezes-over kind of I love you. I’m single, so it’s evident I haven’t felt this yet!

After all my years in this world, I can’t tell you what that kind of love is like, or what it feels like. I can tell you what I felt the first moment I thought I was in love, I can tell you what I thought at that moment. I can tell you the joy in my heart when I looked at that person. I can tell you how I glowed and got all mushy inside when that person touched me, looked at me, or complimented me.

But none of it matters, not if I can’t get that feeling, that thought, written, and written in a way everyone who reads it…

Feels like they’re in love.

…And you know I got pictures of couples who could be in love, well, it could be the other thing, you decide.
Growl and roar-it's okay to let the beast out.-© J. Hali Steele


Anne said...

I can't think of any book where I really, really got the feeling that the characters embodied real love. Where it touch my heart strings.

I am a rather cynical person though.

D. F. Krieger said...

I prefer stories where it isn't just a "they locked eyes across the room for the first time and *zing* were in love". To me, that's lust mistaken for love. I think love comes over time and emotional experiences that tie us.

TheChosenDarkness said...

I would have to agree with some of the above comments. In real life it does take time to fall truly in love. Do I believe I am in love? I would have to answer with a resounding yes! I have dated this one guy over 3 years and now have been engaged for a year now.

I will tell you, it takes a lot of patience, tolerance, compromising, and sacrifices to honestly love someone on the deep profound level. Of course there is many other factors and what not, but I am not writing a book on love am I? *laughs*

As far as books go, a lot times authors don't have the time or privilege to write long and drawn out book series that has a couple eventually falling into that "deep love" category. A lot times there is word count constraints and many other factors as to why some authors do not do this.

It is not say those Authors don't know what real love is. Most are married. Not all of them of course, but most are. So, I am pretty sure they understand what "love" is when they write their stories.

Of course, I might be a little bit biased in my opinion. Only because I have a deep love for Romance Novels. *shrugs*

Either way, I understand what you mean about writing about love and making it believable. I think we all struggle with that from time to time. I know do with my current book in progress, but I think it is because my mind sees the story as real life instead of a work of fiction. In other words... I need to hurry it along.

Any way, sorry for the long reply. Your blog about 'love' moved me to write!

Joann said...

Anne, I have read a few books where the "feeling" was there, when I said "Ahh, beautiful!" I'm such a romantic I'm still looking for the until hell freezes over kind! :)

D.F., I'm such a novella hog, I know the locking eyes and let's hurry up is going to happen, and I'm ok with it if I'm given a few well written scenes that try to convey the "feeling".

TheChosenDarkness, Loved your long reply, and I want to read one of your books! I think you've hit the nail on the head. Patience, tolerance, compromising, and sacrifices are tough to get in at 25-45K words. One of my problems is I love an HEA, I don't want to string it along over 2-3 books. I find that during my self-editing, I take a lot of the "feeling" part out to move the story along.

It's good to know others struggle with this, and I'm not alone.

Thanks, everyone, for commenting!

Cathy M said...

I've got to admit that I am a HEA girl, and my favorites shelf is full of stories that are heartfelt and passionate, give me memorable characters that are far from perfect, and make me care.

I've been reading all kinds of romance for over 40 years, and I love where a well written story takes me. That fantasy world where love conquers all, lust always turns into love, that someone special exists for everyone, and that real love lasts forever.

Annie Nicholas said...

Great blog, Joann!

On a personal level, my first marriage was after a long courtship and obviously it didn't last or I wouldn't have said first. :) But I think that may have been the fault of age. My second marriage, we knew after the first two weeks that we'd be married. That was well over 15 years ago but also I think age and wisdom played upon that too.

The closest I think I've come to the true love feeling as a writer is in Catch. I had more time to build on those existing characters.

Joann said...

*Sigh* Cathy, the last statement of your post is beautifully written! Thanks!!

Annie, thanks! There's a lot to be said for age and wisdom *grin*. CATCH, ahh...Connie, Tane and Rurik--done so nicely!

D L Jackson said...

I so love your visual aides, J.
I love a story that totally rocks the connection and builds the tension until you're desperate to flip to the end of the novel to make sure everything turns out all right. Er, not that I would do that.