Even as a child I never saw the point of staying up to midnight to see some dumb disco ball drop and then watch drunken revelers shouting “Happy New Year!” I’m mean, seriously. What’s the big deal? It isn’t even a candy holiday like Halloween, Christmas or Easter. Those were, at least, associated with special once-a-year treats. New Years had bupkis except if you lived in the South and were supposed to eat Hopping John which has absolutely no candy in it. Or drugs, which the name implies.
If you insist on being a reveler on New Years Eve, here are several oddball hangover cures to try on New Years Day. I’m not a drinker, so can’t confirm they work, but they’ll give the sober ones among us a belly laugh at your misery.
Drink pickle juice
It’s supposed to have lots of electrolytes or some junk like
that to make the pounding headache go away. Yeah, right.
Rub slices of lemon under your armpits
A Puerto Rican cure, it’s touted to relieve dehydration, but honestly when was the last time you drank anything through your armpits?
Chug a Bull’s-eye
A Bull’s-eye is a concoction made from a raw egg broken into
a glass of orange juice. Yum. After a night of heavy drinking I can imagine
what your stomach will say to that one. It isn’t pretty. Speaking of not
pretty, try a Prairie Oyster.
Prairie Oyster
If you’ve ever lived out West you’ll know a Prairie Oyster isn’t an oyster. Let’s just say, it’s the part of the bull that, well, makes it clear you ain’t gonna be milking this one. This Prairie Oyster is a cocktail and contains one raw egg (What is it with raw eggs?), Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, and Tabasco. You probably won’t be sober after drinking this. You’ll probably just wish you were dead.
Activated Charcoal
It’s recommended you take it in pill form or you could stick
your head in the fireplace and lick up the ashes. After the night you had, no
one will try to stop you.
L. A. Kelley writes scify and fantasy adventures with humor, romance, and touch of sass. She prefers her candy shaken, not stirred.
3 comments:
I'm not a drinker either, so guess it's up to those who do to try out your cures. LOL
I do enjoy the traditions of sweeping out the old and welcoming the new at midnight! Whether that works or not, I don't know but I like to think it does. I enjoy a Happy New Year and fireworks at top Pikes Peak, in Colorado
LOL! I can proudly say I've never tried any of those! It's been a lot of decades since I've overindulged the way I did in my teenage years. Between meds and the unpleasant headache I get with even a glass of wine, I keep my holiday drinks virgin. I do enjoy the occasional glass of Guinness (especially when I was in Ireland!) but I get no kick from champagne.
Gotta love those old traditions. Like the other commenters, I don't indulge like I did when I was young and stupid. Hopefully, nobody will have to use your suggestions. Happy New Year!
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