Hi. This is Annie. You might remember me from my childhood, I asked for the Barbie. I wanted to ask you a question. Why do you send grown-ups presents they don’t want?
Remember last year when my husband asked for a sports car so he could relive his youth? I think he wanted one that he could fit into. The hot wheel Carrera in his stocking made him laugh but it still sits on my mantle as a reminder of what could have been.
I think he suspects I’m the one who placed that toy in his sock. When I explained the facts of Christmas, he gave me the eyebrow and shook his head as if he didn’t believe what I said. Maybe this year you can bring him something he can drive, like a lawnmower or something that would plow our driveway?
The vampire you brought me last year is happy with our arrangement. His name is Vlad. The basement suits his sleeping requirements and I have a few annoying neighbors he can feed on. My husband wasn’t too happy in the beginning but they watch Monday night football together now and are great friends.
This year, I would like you to bring me a werewolf. Nothing fancy, I can house train him and teach him not to bite. I’m sure my husband wouldn’t mind sharing his side of the bed. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding the house since you were here last year and we didn’t move. I’ll leave milk and cookies on the table.
Don’t forget to bring something for Vlad. I think he’d like some fuzzy slippers.
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