The Art of Fang Shui...Remix?

Nope, just in print format now and since my week has been less than ideal, falling back on this news always makes me feel better :-)

Seeing a book in print was one of my goals for 2010 and I'm please to announce that my first full length humorous paranormal book has lived up to the challenge.

To celebrate, here's a never before seen excerpt:

She huffed her irritation. “Are we running to or from Andre Valkaret, because it seems to me we’re definitely running and by the way, who the hell is he?” The hot tea warmed her throat. She savored the faint spicy aroma and took another sip.

There was nothing in life that couldn’t be made better with a cup of tea.

“Unfortunately, we are running toward Andre. I believe he is the one behind the disturbances in the paranormal world, unless I find out Duncan has truly gone on a rampage.”

“Why? What’s the big deal about this Andre person?”

Edwin’s gaze wavered. “Do you truly want to know?”

“Do I?”

“You will sometime during this quest. Andre is a demon lord who has gotten a taste for the wealth and prestige power can bring.”

“Great. A paranormal dictator. Just perfect.” Hannah chewed the inside of her lip. “And do I even want to know who Duncan is? You keep throwing names at me, and I don’t know any of them from Adam. I need information, bounty hunter.”

He sighed. “Duncan is my friend, I have known him for years. I do not believe he would lose all reason and embark on a killing spree. I will not know for certain until we talk to Marilyn McAvis, the Witch of the North Forest.” He stared at her in the mirror over the dresser but his blue eyes betrayed no emotion. “We will use the daylight hours to rest, buy the supplies we need, and plan our strategy. We will resume travel at dusk.”

She lifted a brow. “Hmm, let’s see, sleep by day, travel by night. It seems you’re more of a vampire than you want to admit.”

After setting the mug of tea on the nightstand, Hannah padded to the mirror to examine her appearance. “Perfect.” She cringed to see her short-layered hair stood up in spiky disarray, the red wisps hopelessly out of whack. She leaned closer to the glass, horrified to discover a piece of pretzel embedded into her cheek. It was part of her late night snack from the vending machine. Hannah met Edwin’s gaze in the mirror. Mortification washed over her to see faint amusement lurk in the frozen blue depths. Was he trying to develop a sense of humor? “Just perfect.”

“Your flirtation with sarcasm will not get you very far in life.”

In annoyance, Hannah picked the offending snack from her cheek. She stuck her tongue out at him then belatedly realized it must look terrible after a full night’s sleep. “Yeah, well, that’s how I deal with abnormal situations, and this one takes the cake.” She turned to the mirror, determined to make sense of her situation.
The splash of freckles over her nose stood out in sharp relief, her green eyes appeared faded from lack of sleep. Why couldn’t I be one of those women who looked great when they woke up? “What you see is what you get.”

“Vanity is wasted emotion.” His lips twitched. “I am not a vampire. I only have a quarter of those genes. I have found when I am on the hunt of a criminal it is best to travel at night. The darkness is good for concealing movement, and the criminal element, whether they are human or not, do most of their illicit activity when the sun goes down.” He brushed at a speck of lint on his shirt. “Will there be any more questions?”

“I can’t think of any at the moment but give me time. I’m still attempting to absorb all of this.” After a brief rummage in her bag, Hannah procured a green toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. “Good ole magic bag.” She glanced at him again. “Look, I’m sorry I teased you. This situation is so bizarre. I still don’t understand what I’m doing in the middle of it.”

“Hannah, if at any time you feel uncomfortable then you may leave. My mission will suffer, but I cannot bind you to me. I will not force you to do something you do not want to do.”

“I doubt that.” She gave an unladylike snort. “Powerful men like you have probably done your fair share of creative detainment.” The baby fine hairs at the back of her neck quivered at the thought of being “detained” by him. “In spite of the fact I feel death and destruction will show up at any time, I’m intrigued by your quest. Killing is wrong, no matter who does it.” She tapped her toothbrush against the palm of her hand. “Besides, it’s not like my life was at a pinnacle of success.” Tears unexpectedly filled her eyes as despair washed over her.

“Success is only how you measure yourself, Hannah.”

She swallowed past the tears then watched him slip a slim brown wallet into his back pocket. “Okay, so let’s get a couple things straight. You can’t be ordering me around all the time. You may ask me, but not order me. We are now a partnership. Equal responsibility, equal effort. And, you have to loosen up because you’re too anal for your own good.”

“Anal?” He sipped his coffee and lifted a glossy brow. “I am not familiar with that term. Please explain.”

“You’ll need to know some slang of this century. Anal means straight-laced or stiff.”

“As in my body? I will become rigid?”

Warmth heated Hannah’s cheeks at the images his words provoked. “Uh, no. As in, an unbending will. Or unable to compromise.”

“I see.” The corners of his mouth tipped up in a tentative smile. “Agreed.” He held out his hand. “Partner.”

“Partner.” As soon as Hannah took his hand to shake on their deal, emotions flashed through her mind. Pain, sadness, and anger echoed through the corners of her brain, and rocked her senses with bright flashes of white light. She yanked her hand from his grasp. Blinking rapidly, she stared at him in apprehension as her vision returned to normal. “Who are you?” Her voice was barely a whisper. “What are you not telling me?” Her fingers itched to touch him a second time just to see if she’d experience the same sort of reaction again.

Sadness clouded his eyes for a moment before he retreated behind the façade of calm indifference. “If I told you now, you would not believe me. I have held onto the secret for more than a century, one more night will not make a difference.”

She took a big gulp of now tepid tea, disheartened when her hand trembled. “Fine, I get it. It’s sort of a need-to-know basis, right? I’ll accept that. However, I have learned, over the years, to accept all sorts of things. Call me Alice if you want, but you’d be surprised what I would find normal.”

“Why would I call you Alice when that is not your name?” He shot her a pointed glance. “But I would caution you to remember normality is relative, Hannah.”

Wanna find out how these two got into this mess and what happens next? You'll have to buy the book!

You can buy The Art of Fang Shui here: http://www.eirelander-publishing.com/artoffangshui.htm

Happy reading!