So I forced a few words to one of my stories. Here Nolan tries to wrap his mind around the reason Thana was in the cemetery opening up a coffin in a mausoleum. Here's a bit from, My Girlfriend is a Necromancer:
“So, what do you do when you’re not robbing graves?”
"I don’t rob graves. I work for an insurance company.”
“I get it. You raise the dead to get out of paying the life insurance.”
Of course he’d been joking, but when she turned toward him, she looked completely serious. “That’s right.”
All he could picture was her propping the body up on the doorstep, ringing the bell and running like hell. The chick had really lost it. Nolan couldn’t help it. He grabbed his gut and laughed. She slammed on the brakes and mashed him further into the dash. With his cheek smushed into the windshield, the situation didn’t seem as humorous. "You have to understand how ludicrous what you told me sounds."
“Many people would rather have their loved one than the money. I’m doing them a favor. It's not ludicrous and what I do isn't sleezy or wrong.”
“Let's just say for a moment you actually could raise the dead. Leaving zombies at someone’s front door isn’t doing them a favor, and yeah, it's kind of sleezy. They buried them for a reason.”
“They’re not dead when they go home and they're not zombies. They are who they were in most cases.”
“So you say.” Nolan pushed back from the window and resumed his previous pose with his knees in his pits. He reached into his pocket and turned on his phone.
Thana eyed him. “What are you doing?”
“Calling the psychiatric ward to tell them I found one of their escaped patients.”
“I’m not crazy.”
He snorted and started to dial. Thana ripped his phone from his grip and tossed it out the window.
“You owe me four hundred dollars for that phone.”
“I couldn’t let you call. My gift isn’t common knowledge. Think of the people who would twist it for their own personal needs.”
“Like raising the dead to get out of paying on the insurance?” Cute, but what a freaking whack job.
She jerked the wheel and turned into the local supermarket. “I’ll prove it.”
“Oh this is going to be good. What are you going to do?"
"I intend to show you it's true."
"While you're in there, why don't you get your prescription refilled?”
She pulled into a parking spot, slammed on the brakes and threw the car into park. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”
He gave her a salute as she jumped out and rushed for the entrance. Lifting his wrist, he checked his watch. Nolan knew it would be prudent to ditch the nut and try to find out who buried him alive, but he couldn’t help it. That same instinct that made people rubber neck at traffic accidents had him dying to know what she was going to do to prove she could bring people back to life. He fiddled with his watch and watched people in the parking lot, wondering how many of them would suspect a crazy person was shopping with them.
Ten minutes later, she came back out with a plastic bag. She climbed in the driver’s side and tossed it on his lap. Nolan stared at the plain white paper wrapping used by butchers.
“Open it up and check it. Does it have a pulse?”
Nolan sighed and handed the bag back to her. “Seriously?”
“Humor me.” She shoved it back at him.
He grabbed it and unwrapped the butcher’s paper to expose a trout. The eyes shiny and clear, the fish had a fresh smell, but was definitely no longer with the living. “Okay, it’s dead.”
“You’re sure? It’s dead?”
“Of course I’m sure. This sucker isn’t swimming anywhere but into a skillet, or under a broiler in butter.”
Thana reached out and touched it.
The fish jerked and began to thrash in his lap, smacking him with its tail. “What the fuck.” Nolan threw the door open and shoved the fish off his lap. It continued to flop around on the pavement until a large truck pulled up next to them and smashed it flat. Its tail twitched under the tire as teenagers jumped out and headed into the store, reminding him he hadn’t hallucinated it.
“Now you know why I’m a vegetarian. Nothing worse than your food thinking it needs to start moving again.”
Nolan swallowed and turned toward her. His mouth opened and closed. What did one say in a situation like this? “So.”
“I’m a necromancer. I bring people back from the dead.”
Have a nice weekend everyone.
D L
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