Thursday, July 20, 2017

You Might Be a Romance Writer If...

I've been writing all my life. I think just about every writer/author will tell you that. We write long before we are published. The publication part just lets the rest of the world know that we are writers.

I've been a romance writer for most of that time. Actually I've been a romance reader ALL of that time, and the writing followed naturally. So...after 7+ years of doing this gig for publication, I've started to notice a few signs about being a writer, and especially a romance writer.




Do any of these sound like you?

You might be a writer (especially a romance writer) if:
  1. Every time you start writing a non-romance story, it doesn't get good (in your head) until a romance suddenly appears.
  2. You change the endings of movies and books in your head (or add characters, new plot lines, a better romance...whatever).
  3. Proper grammar has been drilled into your head, and you've yelled at the TV "It's 'I,' dude. The crew and I. " When a newscaster just said, "The crew and me went on location."
  4. Other writers, and definitely editors, still find mistakes with your grammar, so you are far from perfect in that department. Just perfect when it comes to "I" vs. "me". Lol.
  5. At a reunion, an old schoolmate asks if your mom (previous high-school English teacher) is proud of your writing, and you answer that absolutely she is, but it's a little awkward to know your mother reads all the sex scenes you wrote. Followed by dead silence and stares.
  6. Your husband walks into the living room to find you straddling the couch with your hands "tied" behind your back to see if you could physically reach your foot in that situation while riding a horse (in a "stealthy" manor). (Yes, it is possible, though cramps ensue.)
  7. You post on Facebook declaring for whoever is watching (big brother-style) that all your searches involving knives and knife throwing (plus martial arts, ninja skills, breaking and entering, climbing tall walls, special positions, and whatever else) have to do with research for a fictional book.
  8. You check out Wikipedia for the plot of a series of books, because you can already tell it's going in a direction you wouldn't have written, and hope you're wrong. But you don't want to read ALL those books if you're right.
  9. You stop reading a book or don't like a movie because they royally f'ed up the romance bit. (I'm talking to you Force Awakens writers.)
  10. You commonly wake in the middle of the night exclaiming "That's it!" But if you don't write it down, your brilliant idea is gone come morning.
  11. You've missed actually hearing/participating in a meeting at work, or a conversation with your spouse, because you realized the fix for your latest WIP and you were working through the details in your head.
  12. You start hearing sexual innuendo in everything people say, and it makes you snicker every time.
  13. You stop at a red light and desperately search for a scrap of paper and a pen so you can write down your latest brain wave before it disappears.
  14. Every October 31st you warn your spouse, children, family, and friends that you'll be unavailable for the  next month while you write a book. And on your fifth consecutive year of this, your husband declares that if you get to write a book for NaNoWriMo, he gets to grow a mustache for Movember.
  15. You get to a point where every month is NaNoWriMo.
  16. You tell people that the voices in your head are why you feel compelled write, and they nod and smile like that's normal, then exit the conversation as soon as they can without appearing rude. (They don't want to upset the voices.)
I hope you had a chuckle, especially if you related to a few of those. Fellow (romance) writers, what other signs have you noticed? Readers, what about you?

6 comments:

CJ Burright said...

Ha! Great post, Abigail! And yes, yes, yes to so many of those!

Jane Kindred said...

Even better is trying to work out a sexual position by posing and...simulating, er...hand motions. ;) And I yell "lie low!" every time someone says "lay low" on TV.

Diane Burton said...

What a great list! I nodded at almost every one and laughed all the way through. I cringe at the I vs me, too, as well as every other grammar goof. Drives Hubs crazy when I correct the speaker.

Maureen said...

lol- loved this post! Number 6 made me lol- and I adore NaNo. :)

Jean said...

Loved the list. No Star Wars love can top Han and Leia!

Abigail Owen said...

So glad y'all enjoyed it. :) I know every writer has their list. :)