As a romance author, the entire point of my books is to create a romance between two (fictional) people which ends happily ever after. But what does a great romance look like?
Romance and all things romantic can be different for different people. Some think of romance as gifts and dinners. Some think of it as supporting each other through the daily grind. There's a reason why there are boatloads of books on Love Languages and communication between men and women. Because keeping a good relationship in the healthy and functioning category takes dedication and effort.
Rather than writing about my own opinion of a great romance, I thought I'd go with what various experts say are signs of a healthy relationship. Because, for me, a great romance isn't all flowers and pretty words. A great romance always has a happily ever after--in other words a healthy, productive relationship which lasts after the final credits or the book is over.
Think about your favorite romance novels or movies. Which of those romances embody many (or even all) of the following traits of a healthy relationship?
- You Communicate
- You Trust Each Other
- You Speak Your Mind
- You Like Yourself and Your Partner
- You Let Things Go
- You Make Joint Decisions
- You Talk to Your Partner Before Others
- You Support Each Other in Growth Opportunities
- You are Friends
- You Keep Your Individual Identity
- You Fight (Productively)
- You are Willing to Put "We" Before "Me"
- You Inspire Each Other to Be Better
- You Enjoy Each Other
P.S. Personal addition to the list, sign #15: You don't wait for Valentine's Day to say "I Love You!"
Resources
14 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship, REAL SIMPLE Magazine
6 Sure Signs of a Healthy Relationship, Psychology Today
8 Signs You're In the Right Relationship, Huffington Post
10 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship, Life Hack
15 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship, Glamor
5 comments:
This is great, Abigail! Plus it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day- every day is a good day for romance. Thank you, I enjoyed your post!
Such a great post, Abigail. Your list is right on target. Flowers for no reason is something Hubs does. Not often but a great thought. Talking to each other isn't always easy--esp. after 45 years together. But we still do. I really like your #7. Some people air all their squabbles, etc. on FB. I would add protect your spouse to the list. Not necessarily physically protect (although that's wonderful, too). Complaining about him/her to others doesn't show support. Again, what you've written is a great recipe for a lasting relationship.
Nice list!! Something we should all check off before we close the last page on our characters.
Nailed it!
Wonderful check-list. If we want readers to like our character's relationship, we really do need to make sure to use it.
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