Is Your Antagonist an Evil Overlord?

Hi all,
Is your Antagonist an Evil Overlord?

Check Peter Anspach's list and find out!

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do

If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Of course, these are merely the Top 100 Things I'd do. Other suggestions have been sent to me which didn't quite make the Top 100 List. But they are still so good that I couldn't bear to throw them out. Therefore, as an expression of gratitude, I have tossed them into...

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

If you’d like to read about my antagonist, Lailoken, be sure to pick up a copy of Protect Her. Available at Amazon.

Sophia Kimble

Top Ten Celtic Mythical Creatures

Happy New Year!

To start it off right, the paranormal way, I thought I'd share my...

Top Ten Celtic Mythical Creatures

1. Dearg Due – Celtic Vampire

The Dearg Due means red blood sucker in Gaelic.

A beautiful young woman fell in love with a peasant, but was forced into marriage by her father to a rich man who abused her. She committed suicide and rose from her grave to seek revenge by sucking all the blood from her father and husband’s body.

She was buried near Strongbow’s Tree in Waterford, and rises one a year using her beauty to lure men to their deaths.

The Dearg Due may possibly have been Irishman, Bram Stoker’s inspiration for Dracula!

2. An Dullahan or Gan Ceann - Celtic Collector of Souls.

An Dullahan (meaning "without a head" in Gaelic) is a type of unseelie (Dark) fairy.

It rides a headless black horse with flaming eyes. He carries his head under one arm. But beware if he stops riding and calls out your name…For he will have taken your soul and you’ll no longer be among the living.

He likes to ride on Samhain (Halloween) and has a weakness-Gold. So if you have to travel during this time make sure you have some on hand or risk your soul!

3. Bean Sidhe (anglicized as Banshee) 

She is seen as an omen of death and a messenger from the Otherworld. Her wails alert that someone is about to die.

The Bean Sidhe, or Bean Nighe in Scotland, are seen at the banks of streams washing the blood from the clothing of someone who is about to die. 

If you see her, and ask politely, she will answer three questions, but be forewarned- you will have to answer three of hers first.

4. Balor – Celtic Demon King

Balor is the demonic God of Death in Celtic mythology and the progenitor of The Evil Eye.

His forehead contains one single eye that could kill someone simply by staring at them. The Celts believed the eye emitted an ethereal form of light, and was a prominent belief in the Scottish Highlands.

5. Sluagh – Celtic Evil Faeries

The foulest and most dreaded of the realm of Faerie, the Sluagh (pronounced SLOO-AH)

are scary creatures that hunt down souls!

Dead sinners that fly from the west in groups resembling a flock of Ravens or other black birds. They try to enter a house where someone is dying and steal their soul. 

These are the spirits of evil people who were unwelcome in heaven, hell, and the Underworld.

So lock your West-facing windows or risk your immortal soul! 

6. Carman – Celtic witch

Carman is the Celtic goddess of evil magic.

This malevolent witch roamed around Ireland with her three evil sons: Dub (“darkness”), Dother (“evil”) and Dain (“violence”), destroying all in her path.

Carman blighted Ireland’s crops and terrorized the Irish until the Tuatha De Danann, the “peoples of the goddess Danu,” used their magic to fight and defeat her, and drove her sons across the sea.

7. Kelpie – Celtic Sea Monster

The kelpie can take on multiple shapes, but usually it appears in the form of a horse.

The kelpie lures people into the water, drowns them, and takes them to their lair.

Beware of the Kelpie, if you come across a horse with a mane dripping with water or a beautiful ‘human’ - check to make sure they don’t have seaweed in their hair, or risk being taken beneath the loch and eaten.

8. Caorthannach  - The Devil’s Mother

Caorthannach (pronounced queer-hawn-nock), the Celtic fire-spitter was believed to be the devil’s mother.

A demon who was fought by St. Patrick when he banished the serpents and demons out of Ireland.

But one monster managed to escape – Caorthannach, the fire-spitter.

Patrick fought the demon long and hard and was finally able to banish her from The Emerald Isle.

But beware, some say she is just hiding, biding her time until she makes her presence known again.

9. Leanan Sidhe – Deadly Celtic Faerie

Leanan Sidhe (pronounced "Lah-nan Shee-uh.") is a different kind of vampire.

This Faerie is a beautiful muse who is said to give inspiration to poets and musicians. But encounter this muse and you’ll pay for your success with your life.

When this muse lover leaves her prey, they become so depressed they die. She brings them back to her lair and drains their blood into a large cauldron which is the source of her never ending beauty.

You might want to watch out where you find your inspiration, or suffer the consequences. 

10. Questing Beast – Celtic Hybrid Monster

The Questing Beast is a monster with the head of a snake, the body of a leopard, the backside of a lion, and the hooves of a deer.

The beast’s constant cry sounds like 30 dogs barking.

The Questing Beast was hunted down by many a knight, and in Celtic myth was chased by King Pellinore, an Arthurian character.

Well, there you have it. My top ten scariest Celtic Monsters.
If you'd like to read a novel steeped in Celtic mythology, be sure to check out, Protect Her.

Only $2.99 on Amazon

Happy New Year!

Sophia Kimble

Sleep Paralysis

Sleep Paralysis

The genesis of Protect her-

 A condition I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy!

The genesis of my novel, Protect Her, is a strange story, and one I don’t speak much about. But I’ve decided to share this terrifying tale with you.

When I was 18, I had an episode of sleep paralysis.

What happens during sleep paralysis is you wake while still being in REM sleep (the cycle of sleep when we dream). It’s thought that while in this part of sleep, our body is in a state of partial paralysis. Our bodies way of keeping us from acting out our dreams.

Whatever the reason, it’s terrifying.  Your brain wakes up, while your body is still asleep. You can’t move or speak. Frequently, the episode is combined with hallucinations and shortness of breath.

Well, when this happened to me, I saw a demon hovering over me.

I’ve since learned that this is a common occurrence during sleep paralysis.

Back before the internet was readily available to look up what malady you’ve suffered from, I had no idea what sleep paralysis was, let alone how common it is.

For years, this demon has been in my head in Technicolor, so of course, when I decided to write my paranormal romance, Protect Her, I used this creature in my story.

Perhaps all the myths of demons that pin people down while sleeping are just an episode of Sleep Paralysis…perhaps not.

I haven’t had another episode since, though I’ve seen my grandmother’s ghost at the edge of my bed. However, I wasn’t terrified and I wasn’t paralyzed. But that’s a whole other blog post, and possibly another book. J

Golden Alexander is trapped in a nightmare. 

Trying to flee her hallucination of a demon, she runs heart first into the brooding alpha male she’s been dreaming about for years, and then her nightmare really begins. 

Kris Pietka is done with women . . . he’s broken. But when he meets Golden, an overwhelming need to protect her tests everything he thought he knew about himself, and the paranormal. 

A bond forged centuries ago thrusts them together as they search for a way to break an ancient Druid curse prophesying their demise. Racing against the clock, they travel from Vermont, to the Carpathian Mountains in Poland, and the Scottish Highlands in search of answers and a way to break the curse. 

But something evil watches—it covets, and time is running out. 

Will fate allow love to prevail against unbeatable odds, or will Golden wake to find it was all a delusion?  

Happy Halloween, Samhain, and All Souls Day!

To celebrate the cooler season and spooky month of October, I've decided to run a month long, rafflecopter contest. Me and some fellow authors will be giving away eBooks and Amazon gift cards on October 31st.

To enter, go to my website : www.sophiakimble.com

Not only is this my favorite time of year, but my new paranormal romance, Protect Her,  is releasing with Soul Mate Publishing on October 22, 2014.

Golden Alexander is trapped in a nightmare.

Trying to flee her hallucination of a demon, she runs heart first into the brooding alpha male she’s been dreaming about for years, and then her nightmare really begins.

Kris Pietka is done with women...he’s broken. But when he meets Golden, an overwhelming need to protect her tests everything he thought he knew about himself, and the paranormal.

A bond forged centuries ago thrusts them together as they search for a way to break an ancient Druid curse prophesying their demise. Racing against the clock, they travel from Vermont, to the Carpathian Mountains in Poland, and the Scottish Highlands in search of answers and a way to break the curse.

But something evil watches—it covets, and time is running out. Will fate allow love to prevail against unbeatable odds, or will Golden wake to find it was all a delusion?

Don't forget to enter to win some great spooky books and Amazon gift cards!  Enter here!

Happy Spooky month to you all!

DRUIDS...Ancient Bad Boys of Summer

DRUIDS…Ancient Bad Boys of Summer.

My name is Sophia Kimble, and I want to thank everyone at Paranormal Romantics for inviting me to post on the first of the month on this wonderful blog. This month’s theme is Bad Boys of Summer and what better way to start this off than talk about Druids.

Who were the Druids?

The Druids were ancient peoples during the Iron Age (roughly 1100 BC until the time of the Roman Empire…27BC until about 500AD) from Gaul, Galicia, Ireland, and Britain. They were an educated class of a religious order that included ancient lawyers, poets, doctors and other learned professionals.

***Not one single artifact or image has been discovered regarding the Druids. What we know of them has been surmised through ancient text written by others. The earliest known text written about the Druids dates to 200 BC.***

The Druids were mainly a religious order who practiced Druidism, which was a nature-based religion. Within Druidism there were three specialties.

The Bards: The Druids never penned anything. All their knowledge was learned and passed on by oral tradition. According to some, Bards trained for upwards of 20 years memorizing the hundreds of stories, poems, genealogical lines, and philosophy.

The Ovates: These Druids specialized in death and regeneration. The Druids believed in reincarnation. They believed upon death the soul went to The Otherworld where it waited to be born into another human or animal. The Ovates also specialized in healing, conversing with the ancestors, divination, and telling the future.

The Druids:  The Druids were the priests, teachers, astronomers, ambassadors and conductors of rituals.

What were some of the Druid’s practices?

Human sacrifice?

Julius Ceasar described the Druids as being concerned with  “divine worship, the due performance of sacrifices, private or public, and the interpretation of rutual questions.” Ceasar claimed their main teaching was “the souls do not perish, but after death pass from one to another.” He also said, “the stars and their movements, the size of the cosmos and the earth, the world of nature, and the powers of deities”.

Ceasar also wrote that the Druids were “administrators” of human sacrifice. He states that criminals were usually used, and that the method was through burning in a wicker man.

I see Nicholas Cage here!

Fortunetellers?

The Druids were prophets and Diodorus Siculus states that for a sacrifice to be acceptable to the Celtic Gods, it had to be performed by a Druid.

“The men predict the future by observing the flight and calls of birds and by the sacrifice of holy animals: all orders of society are in their power…and in very important matters they prepare a human victim, plunging a dagger into his chest; by observing the way his limbs convulse as he falls and the gushing of his blood, they are able to read the future.”

Rituals?

It has been surmised that the Druid’s practiced their rituals within ancient stone circles. Though the stone circles, such as Stonehenge, have been around much longer than the Druids.

They were also known to have performed their rituals in ancient groves in a circle of one of the 9 sacred trees such as oaks, ash, willow, hawthorn, holly, alder, birch, hazel, and rowans.

Were Druids the original Hippies?

The Druids, in search of enlightenment, would partake of magic mushrooms. The fly Agaric is one such mushroom. It has been said the Druid would fast for 3 days prior to ingestion. His urine (which would be mostly water and the hallucinogenic components of the mushroom) would then be drunk by others.

The body absorbs the fly agaric's hallucinogens first, and then expels the toxins from the stomach. The hallucinogenic chemicals then exert their influence on the body and are expelled unaltered in the urine. 

As terrible as this sounds, I found I had to put this in my novel, Protect Her, which features an evil Druid, Lailoken.

Holidays:

Samhain- November 1. This is the time of year when the veil between The Otherworld is most easily penetrated.

Winter Solstice- December 21( usually). The shortest day of the year.

Imbolc- February 1. This is the time marked by the return of light, when the first stirrings of life were noticeable. It is associated with the goddess Brighid who was later Christianized to Saint Brighid. She was thought to visit households on Imbolc and was related to fertility.

Beltain- May 1. The celebrations of The Fires of Bel. This would mark the beginning of the growing season.

Typically a bonfire was lit on top of a hill. The flames, ashes and smoke had protective powers. The ritual would include running around the fire and driving the cattle through or over it to ensure protection from evil and disease.

Summer Solstice- June 21 (usually). The longest day of the year.

Lughnasad- August 1. The feast of Lugh (the god of light). This was the time for celebration of the harvest. Religious ceremonies, matchmaking and athletic contests were usually involved.

Ancient Symbols:

The Triskelion: An ancient symbol found on many ancient stones including the entrance to Newgrange.

It’s ancient meaning is thought to be each of the triple spirals represents: Birth, death and rebirth. After Christianity came to the lands it took on the meaning of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.

Downfall of the Druids:

When Christianity came to the lands it was the beginning of the end for the Druids. Their role in Celtic society began to be relegated to that of a sorcerer. One who practiced healing magic and cast spells. Their once high esteem declined steadily.

In the Gallic Wars of 58- 51BC, Julius Ceasar, conquered many chiefdoms of Gaul and annexed it as part of the Roman Empire. Many laws were subsequently passed banning Druidism from being practiced.

So, with new laws and a new religion (Christianity) taking over the lands of the Celts, the Druids were lost and disappeared from the lands and almost nearly from history.

As I said, all that we know of the Druids comes from the writings of others. Some scholars believe the Druids took part in human sacrifice while others vehemently deny this. I’ll leave this up to you to decide. 

Where's the romance? Well, some authors have romanticized the Druids and made their hero's and heroines hot Druids that ultimately are good, but I decided to make mine a villainous one hell bent on wreaking havoc!

This article only touches on some of the practices and beliefs of these ancient peoples who are no longer with us. Though there has been resurgence in Druidism in modern times, there is no proof that any of these ‘new Druids’ retain the blood of those ancient bad boys of summer.

I’ve done much research on the subject and hope this helps anyone with an interest in Druids.

My debut novel, Protect Her, will be released in October, 2014 from Soul Mate Publishing. It is the first novel in The Druid’s Curse Series.

Find out all about me, Sophia Kimble, and my novels on my Website.