Move Past Your Backstory

 I spent the last year decluttering and Marie Kondo-ing most of my house. Most, but not all—and I especially avoided one area and that was…paper.

Most writers would understand my love affair with paper, it goes hand and hand with words. Despite most of the writing courses I took being online, I continued to print out the lessons and organize them in a trusty binder for reference. As well as keeping them somewhere on my computer.

There’s just Something about Holding it

If it’s on paper it can be highlighted, and tagged with colorful little sticky notes for easy reference. Problem was, it didn’t seem that I’d referenced many of this information for years—if ever—after the course ended. The result is a plethora of folders, binders, and other reference materials for fiction and freelance writing, in addition to the usual paperwork I’d already went through once in the filing cabinet.

Paralyzed By Preparation

Some of the information is probably long outdated, or not necessary for me since I’m probably either already utilizing these tips, or I’m not going to use them at all. But to get rid of that security blanket of paperwork and binders is scary. I pile them near as if their mere presence will make me a better writer just by osmosis. As if I have allowed pursuing perfection to paralyze me from acting.

Writing courses are wonderful. They’ve helped me so much over the years as I proudly touted one of my favorite expressions of, ‘never stop learning.’ The problem is, when do you stop building your backstory and just start doing?

Starting The Story

Freeing my house of other clutter gave me joy to be able to easily access my favorite things, and not be weighed down by other things that no longer served me at this time of my life. To do that with the papers is to recognize that I’ve already acquired this knowledge and that I just have to continue to put it to use.

We don’t want to see all the ‘backstory’ of what the character did, or the years that built up to the action. We want to see the character at the start a new quest, or fearlessly moving out of their comfort zone. It’s not that they stop learning, it’s that they realize they can apply what they learned, and know when they’ve mastered the knowledge.

The same as if you’ve worked to learn a new skill, or ability, and are just not sure when you can take off the training wheels and not just put them to the side, but actually throw them away. Often that’s when you find the freedom to truly start your story.

What’s Holding You in Your Backstory?

Author Bio: Maureen Bonatch grew up in small town Pennsylvania and her love of the four seasons—hockey, biking, sweat pants and hibernation—keeps her there. While immersed in writing or reading paranormal romance and fantasy, she survives on caffeine, wine, music, and laughter. A feisty Shih Tzu keeps her in line. Find Maureen on her website, Facebook & Twitter

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4 Life Lessons from My Dog

Scruff is my writing partner. Kind of an unusual name for a writing partner unless you realize he’s a dog, a Shih Tzu to be exact. I’ve mentioned Scruff’s role in my writing process before. 

Such as how he waits for me to get in the office to start writing (mostly because he wants a treat—he knows I keep some in there) or how he gets me out of the chair to stretch and play for a while when I need a break. 

But there are other lessons I’ve learned about writing, and enjoying life in general from Scruff.

 

Make Time for Naps 

Scuff naps a lot. Pretty much a large portion of his day is spending

napping. It's made me wonder if he’s part cat. Napping is something I rarely, if ever take the time to do because there is always so much that needs done on my To-Do list. 

Although most of these things would still be there if I took a little break now and then to stretch and rest my eyes. 

My body would probably thank me for the reprieve. Writers, and anyone else who spends a lot of time sitting, benefits from taking care of their body.

Forgive and Forget

No matter what Scruff may have gotten in trouble for, or how

cranky I might be, he quickly forgets it and moves on. He’s just as happy to see me and his sappy smile makes it impossible to stay angry with him, or anything else in the world. 

Most of us tend to linger on past wrongdoings or wallow in guilt or anger over regrets from time to time. 

We are often our harshest critics, and the time we spend doubting ourselves, and others, from things that happened in our past don’t usually provide any benefits. As much as I’d love to find one, so far, a magical “do-over” button has eluded me. If the story isn’t working out, I either push on or work on something else. Focusing on one tiny piece for too long makes me lose track of the big picture. 

Eat Dessert First 

If Scruff gets a little bit of “people food” he waits to see if he’s going to get something better and eats that first. 

We often hold our rewards until we meet a goal, or do all the things we “should” do, but sometimes it’s better to treat ourselves first and celebrate the little triumphs to inspire us to keep moving. 

Don’t wait to read that book you’re looking forward to until you get a large block of uninterrupted time. 

Why not enjoy a chapter now? 

 

Size Doesn’t Matter
 

Scruff is a big dog—in his mind. If the door is open a crack—that he can easily fit through—he waits until we open it more to pass through. If he’s safe on the deck, he fears nothing. He trots around

with the arrogance of a much larger dog where he rules our household.

As a reader, I’m not usually concerned about the length of a story. I’m more concerned about how much I enjoy the characters and the storyline. 

The only time I might be a little upset is if it’s so good that it ends too soon. As a writer, I have my eye on the word count as I’m writing, but I also know when the story is “done”, and it doesn’t usually follow the rules about word count and chapter length.  

Have You Learned Any Lessons from Your Pets?

P.S. Don’t forget to check out the All Things Magical Giveaway! Kindle Fire! Ebooks & Gift Cards- Oh My! Click Right Here to check it out.

Author Bio: Maureen Bonatch grew up in small town Pennsylvania and her love of the four

seasons—hockey, biking, sweat pants and hibernation—keeps her there. While immersed in writing or reading paranormal romance and fantasy, she survives on caffeine, wine, music, and laughter. A feisty Shih Tzu keeps her in line. Find Maureen on her website, Facebook& Twitter

10 Life Lessons for Authors

I had to really think about this one as there are several directions I could take it. In the end, I decided to make this a note to younger me before I started pursuing this dream of being an author. If I could go back and tell myself the ten most important things I’ve learned that could maybe get me through childhood, high school, and college a little easier, and help me follow this dream, what would they be? The below is what I came up with – in no particular order…

 

1.Live Now

The one with the red spots on the back is me.

By this I mean, life is a one-time shot. So live it. Go out and experience things. Try things you never thought you would. Talk to people from all walks of life. Look for those moments when the path less traveled presents itself. This will mean different things at different times in your life. More than that… each stage in life is a one-time shot. I’ll never be 10, or 20, or 30 again. I’ll never be in high school or college again. My kids will be the age they are only once. So try to enjoy every stage to the fullest. Now.

2.No Fear
Don’t let fear stop you from doing something you love, or make you do something you don’t want to, or keep you from trying something new that might just be amazing. And not just fear… loneliness, jealousy, what others think. Whatever your roadblock. Make your choices in life for yourself and then own those choices.

3.Family Comes First
This will mean different things to different people. But decide who is closest to you and put them first in your life. Make sure you spend quality time with them as much as possible. They’re not guaranteed to be there forever. Tell them you love them every day. Look out for them. But especially, find time for them.

4.Perfection Isn’t Worth The Stress
I’m not saying don’t try to do your best. But don’t let trying to be perfect make you so stressed that you don’t enjoy life anymore. And don’t let other’s idea of perfection push you into being someone you’re not or doing something you hate. Because that will change you into someone you don’t like.

5.You Won’t Even Remember Their Names
That clique you so want to be a part of. Those kids who don’t quite like you or put you down. Forget them. You won’t even remember their names ten years from now. They’re not worth the effort or worry. But the people who like you for you… those often become lifelong friends.

6.Smile and Enjoy
I find that my mood follows my facial expression. If I’m serious or frowning I don’t have a good time. If I smile, I start to enjoy myself. I also feel more beautiful when I smile – maybe it’s the happiness coming through. People also respond better to a smile and a kind word.

7.Internet Is Forever
I wouldn’t tell my younger self this (since internet wasn’t a thing back then), but I definitely tell my kids. You can do some permanent damage with the internet by posting stupid things that you shouldn’t have been doing in the first place, or even just being goofy. Future employers, boyfriends, friends might see something you’d wish they hadn’t, and there goes that opportunity.

8.Love Who You Are Now
Know who you are, what you believe, and the kind of person you want to be – and be confident in that. And I’m not saying be perfect in that – just be confident. Don’t let others tell you who you are or should be. And don’t constantly be worried about who you could be – thinner, smarter, older, younger, nicer, stronger, whatever. Love who you are right now. And I don’t mean not to try to better yourself. But just to love yourself.

9.Give Yourself Something to Chase
I loved Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar speech. Give yourself a goal – an impossible goal – that you keep your eyes on. Don’t let yourself just go “well – this is who I’ll be forever – I guess that’s it.” Give yourself something to be chasing.

10.Don’t Depend On Others To Make You Happy
That perfect man. Your parents. Your children. Colleagues. Friends. Do not expect them to be responsible for your happiness in any way, shape, or form. Can they add to your happiness? Be a source of happiness? Absolutely. But you, and you alone, are responsible for being a happy person.

I realize that I got on a bit of a preachy pedestal there, but I wish younger me could have realized some of those things a lot sooner. I've actually enjoyed every phase of life I’ve been through so far, but I wouldn’t go back unless I took some of this knowledge with me. I’d love to hear what big life lesson you’ve had that you’d add to this list.