Friday, June 12, 2009

Are you ready?

In case you didn’t know, SCREWED releases today from Changeling Press. I thought it would be kind of nice to have two of the main characters in for a visit. For those of you who don’t know Purple P Rose, she’s a private investigator. Her partner, Richard E Rection couldn’t be with us today. But I see Peter Hard made it.

Hi, Purple and Peter, I’d like to welcome you both to Paranormal Romantics and thank you for taking the time to talk to me. Peter, I love your suit. Black looks good on you.

Peter: Thank you. I’ve been told I’m rather extraordinary. Can we move this along? I’ve got better things to do but Purple needed an escort. Anything for my pretty.
Purple: Peter, I’ve told you not to call me that. Pisses me off royally.
Peter: I like Pretty. Oh, all right. I’ll call you Purple. But just for today.
Purple: Go to hell.
JHS: Excuse me? Can I have your attention, please? I’d like to ask you a few questions. Purp, I hope you don’t mind if I call you that, how did you and Peter meet?
Purp: This…this bloodsucker did some kind of witchy stuff to poor Dick at the Mons Venus where we were working on a case and now he’s a partner. So I’ve got to put up with his shit all night. Except when he runs off to see his followers. I’ve not met any of them yet.
Peter: Is that what bothers you? I can introduce you. One in particular can’t wait until he gets his…hands on Dick. He loves blonds. A few of them would enjoy having you too. They’re aware I’m the only one who can have your delicious blood.
Purp: No body has me that I don’t want to have me and I’ll give my blood to whomever I choose.
Peter: If I say they can have you, they can have you. If you’re not careful, you won’t feed tonight.
JHS: This isn’t going well. Uhh, do the two of you mind if I let the readers see the blurb for SCREWED and we tell them where they can get it?
Peter: Go right ahead. She’ll be fine in a minute. She gets upset when she doesn’t get her way or when she’s hungry. You hungry, Pretty? Want a bite?
Purp: Kiss my a….
JHS: Hello! Here’s the buy link at Changeling Press:

Here’s the blurb:

An irreverent poke into the world of Women’s Erotica.

Purple P. Rose is a brash private investigator. Her latest case has her visiting the city’s seediest nightspot, the Mons Venus, with partner and boyfriend, Richard E. Rection. Their new case is full of surprises -- especially when Dick “discovers” he’s bisexual.

They are both unaware there’s a new and slightly sinister being in town -- Peter Hard, a vampyre who enjoys the taste of women and men alike. He’s chosen Purple to be his. Ready to claim her, he uses his powers to coerce Dick to bring him in as a partner.

Their lives will never be the same again.

We kinda doubt yours will, either.

JHS: That sounds rather interesting. Can one of you explain why this book is an irreverent poke into the world of Women’s Erotica?
Purp: I think it has to do in part with our names: Purple P Rose, Richard E Rection and Peter Hard. Also, I am colorful and have quite a way with words.
JHS: Why are you smiling?
Purp: Dick usually has an erection and Peter…
Peter: Is always hard, at least for you, baby. And Dick too. Wonder what he’s up to? If he’s hanging out at the Venus watching Boyd’s ass and daydreaming about those lips on his…umm…body parts, he won’t eat either.
Purp: We can feed ourselves you know. Except I do love the taste of…
JHS: Sheesh! Enough already. Let’s give the folks a break. Here’s a small excerpt for SCREWED:
It was the crack of dawn. Purple P. Rose woke up with a hairy one in her face -- Boyd’s ass. Shit, had she had too much to drink? She couldn’t think straight. Everything was askew -- even the view out of her ritzy loft’s window. The trees appeared to bow and wave at her as she listened to the shower run in her bathroom.
What the hell had happened last night? Something about the new guy. She looked back at Boyd, who still slept peacefully. Purp gazed across the park and tried to remember. She did have some memories intact -- the worst being her partner Dick. She thought he’d gone soft. Maybe not. She shook her head to clear the clouds of confusion.
Richard E. Rection was a real son of a bitch known as Dick to his friends. Purp found she’d rather have no one else back her up in a tight spot. He’d done that last night. Warmth crept down her thighs as she turned over the pictures in her mind of what she could remember. She’d seen a new side of Dick. Flashes came to her in living color.
They’d checked out the club Mons Venus, a cheap strip joint on the Westside, as planned. The girls there were known to go all the way with customers. So, needless to say, the place stayed full.
Every nut-sac in town turned up at Mons Venus. Purp and Dick had met there last night to interview a bartender involved in their latest case. It wasn’t their usual type of job, but she’d taken it for the money. Car repairs had left her flat broke, and it was the first of the month, which came too fast lately.
Her real problem -- so did Dick.
Now she remembered. He’d been the first to interview the bartender in question. Dick then disappeared with him to a room behind the stage.
After he’d left, Purp ordered her second gin and tonic. She’d decided to enjoy the show. The girl on stage had hair the color of a magnificent western sunset. The bush between her thighs carried the same flaming color. Red knew the pole she used intimately. Purp’s panties were soon full of morning dew. But it was nighttime and she wanted to be full of something else. A hefty dick, a sliver of tongue, it didn’t matter. Anything would do the job right now.
A tremor of premonition lanced through her. She studied the other patrons. As she looked around, her eyes lit on a dark corner table. Someone stared back at her from the table there. She could make out the outline of a body. Male. Smoke wafted around him, obscuring his face. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and her pussy clenched on itself. Who was he and why was he watching her? It wasn’t the first time she’d had the feeling lately. Shit, just what she needed -- the witchy stuff following her around.
Purp shook it off and felt her side for the gun holstered there. The wave of raw lust that slammed into her left her weak. Between her thighs, her cunt pulsed. She went through life horny, but what hit her now was hell.
Dick hadn’t returned, so Purp went to find him. What she found didn’t shock her. Not much did nowadays. She’d opened the door to the room where she heard thumping and bumping inside, and found him in a big wingback chair with his pants around his ankles and the bartender’s face buried between his muscular Adonis-like thighs. Purp had never seen Dick in this light. Hmm.
“Purp --”

Peter: Why’d you stop there, it was just getting good?
Purp: Peter you’re such an ass. Maybe some people don’t want to read about our colorful, sordid life.
Peter: Sordid? Who says? Purple, dinner for you tonight is going to be cold as hell.
Purp: And what’s new? Your blood is always cold.
JHS: By the way, I understand you starred in a video? Let’s tell everyone where they can see it:

I want to thank you both for dropping by. Maybe next time you can bring Dick along. In the meantime I’ll let everyone know where they can reach me.
You can find me at:,, I’m on Facebook as J Hali and I can be found here every Friday. Remember: Growl and roar-it’s okay to let the beast out.


Z(Aasiyah/Nolwynn) said...

Lol! It's all I can say Joann. Thanks for the laugh. This sounds like a hoot on top of being hot!



Annie Nicholas said...

A great fun read. I couldn't put it down once I started.

Rebecca Royce said...

What a great thing to read first thing in the morning.
Well done

Sandra Sookoo said...

Nicely done Joann :-) Enjoy release day!

lienaferror said...

Have a great release day. Screwed sounds hot!

Great post. Loved the interview.


J Hali said...

Hey Everybody, Purple thanks you and Peter wants to know what all the fuss is about --

"Ladies, please, there's enough of me to go around. You know I'll live forever right?"

Dick may stop by later he's glad to be "out"!

Pat said...

Awesome! Can't think of another word. The story is such an amazing feat of imagination.
It was sassy, sexy and humorous. Thank you for such a hot time.

J Hali said...

Pat, I'm so glad you liked it, I'm looking forward to keeping them around.

Peter says, "I like her...a lot."
Purp said, "She is special, huh?

Look out, Pat!

Chiron said...

Wow, pulp erotica!! Very cool, J!

You rock, woman!

Chiron O'Keefe
The Write Soul:

J Hali said...

Hi Chiron, *grins* it is really a lively little story. Was so much fun to do.

Sandy said...

LOL Your characters are a riot.

Thanks for introducing them.

J Hali said...

Sandy, they were so much fun to talk to *grins*

Pamela said...

I very much enjoyed reading this post, and the blurb is fantastic!

Rae Lori said...

LOL great post, Joann! Hehe now my sides are hurting. :-)