Oh I have to blog today…
It is 8:24 AM and I am supposed to take my oldest son to camp in a few minutes so he can spend the day getting very, very dirty and loving every moment of it. I’ll admit, I’ve been a little preoccupied and I forgot to write this last night. So forgive me, if it’s not up to par.
Speaking of my oldest son, his newest and absolute favorite activity is asking his father to tell him a story. Now, as Daddy has informed him, Mommy gets paid to tell stories and yet it’s not me he wants stories from. I understand this, despite his protests, Daddy tells great stories too.
When I look at my oldest, I see so many traits that I had myself as a child. He spends a lot of time living in is head. At his violin recital last week, he stared at something unknown in the audience until it was his turn to play and then he played perfectly. I would have done the same thing as a child. I used to call it living in my head.
To a certain extent, I still live that way. Try calling me in the middle of the day to ask me about changing a sink that doesn’t fit in the kitchen renovation while I’m writing and see if you et a coherent answer from that makes any sense. My poor husband, he attempted that yesterday.
A good friend recently called my writing, my secret life, my other life. On one hand you have me, stay-at-home Mom, volunteers for school activities, runs errands, meets for coffee, and handles bumped knees. This is the part of me that my friends and family know.
They know I have this other part of me, this thing I do, that I have started to have small successes with. They’re curious because how in heavens does this relate to the Rebecca who handed out cupcakes at the end of the year nursery school party? How and when does she spend time thinking about dimensional travel and werewolves?
I’ll answer that. I am almost always thinking about two things at the same time. I am absolutely focused on you when you talk to me. I listen, I compute, I remember, and I care. But while we talk about carpooling, I am also thinking about my hero who when I went to bed last night wasn’t sure if my heroine was going to live through the night. I can’t help it.
But here’s the thing, as I prepare for the first time, to open up private imaginings, what essentially amounts to my hidden life, for the first time on August 3rd when Her Wolf: The Westervelt Wolves Book 1 release from Liquid Silver Books (www.liquidsilverbooks.com) I will be showing not only people who do not know me but all the people who I do what it is that I’ve spent my time thinking about. I would be lying if I said that this doesn’t scare me to death.
How about all of you? Have you ever had to show something to everyone you love and care about and did that scare you or am I just oversensitive?
12 comments:
Rebecca,
Yeah, my first release as a matter of fact. I had my neighbor tell me she might not be able to look me in the eye after she reads it because of its heat level. So that got me a little nervous but it's what I write.
I'm an at home mom as well so I have the same two lives you do to a certain extent.
Great post!
Liena~
Hey Rebecca:
I'm even more discreet. I'm a ways off from my release, but at this point only hubby has a clue what I am doing on my computer all the time. There really is a vulnerability when you put yourself out there. Just like hanging art at an exhibit. It's so humbling to listen to the lookers comment on your work when you stand there--they don't know you are the artist. You need thick skin baby...thick skin!
Gem
So funny you ask this question. I was over at a loop today and said to some folks worried about how they'd be perceived and I said If I make one person say "ahh, I liked that" it'd be enough. When my first fan said just that - I was really ok with any not-so-good comments. Now my goal is to make one more person say "ahh, I like that!"
Hey Rebecca,
I too am a stay-at-home mom and other than my hubby and daughter, my extended family is happily in the dark about my writing. I figure, I write for me and if it intrests others as well, I'm a happy camper.
Congrats on your release date! I can't wait to read it! :)
I tried to seperate my writing life from my 'real' life. When I returned to work I needed more support to help find the time to do it. Anyone who knows me also knows I write. It didn't change anything. I asked a niece to beta read for me. (She's an adult by the way.) LOL It knocked her socks off and she doesn't see me just as a mom/aunt anymore. I was afraid but have no regrets and can't wait my release.
Writing is who I am. People know this. To this point in my life, I haven't written anything I'm embarrassed about. I don't have any secrets. I'm a what you see is what you get kinda girl :-) That's just me :-)
which that above comment was me, Sandi, not Shari. I'm obviously not on my computer...
I'm not embarrassed. (And trust me Sandi) I understand, I sign in as Grimace half the time and that's not me. LOL. It just feels like putting out pieces of myself I've kept mostly to myself out there up until now. But don't get me wrong, I'm also THRILLED.
Thanks for all the awesome comments ladies!!
Rebecca,
I totally understand. Some of my friends think of my writing as just a hobby, so it was difficult to put my first book out there. Also, I was concerned about things like language because most of my friends don't swear.
Now, I'm scared to death about my next book, Addiction, because there's a hot heat level in it. I know some of my friends won't like it.
Very interesting post, Rebecca.
Hey Rebecca
I know exactly what you mean. My first book was written and published without anyone but my husband knowing about it. Then the book came out and everyone knew I wrote, and gasp, I wrote romance! And even more gasp, the people have sex in it, lol, even if the sex scenes were implied.
It's true people will look at you differently, but then again, you wouldn't be writing if it wasn't in your blood. People can say and do what they like and what they want, it's not gonna purge you from this urge to write!
So, yes, you do have 2 lives, but as long as reconcile the two of them together, there should be no issue about it for others. Stick to your guns! Being a writer doesn't make you a 'different' mom/wife/friend/person and vice versa!
Hugs
Z(Aasiyah/Nolwynn)
You are so NOT alone in this! *laughs* Every writer goes through it, no matter what they write. The biting of the lip and holding our breath, waiting to see what others think of our dream. I totally relate.
Just the other day I sent the prologue of my WIP to my crit partner and dear friend, waiting on pins and needles for her to write back. When she did respond with a VERY excited thumbs up, my held breath came out in a whoosh. *happy sigh*
Yup, we're all these different people. The writer, the neighbor, the friend, the mom, and the important thing is to remember each aspect is part of what makes us who we are. Some will embrace our multi-dimensional self, and others may not. *shrugs* Self-acceptance is much more important than pleasing others anyways! (She says, sticking out her tongue at naysayers. *grin*)
Great post! Here's to sticking to our guns!
Smiles,
Chiron O'Keefe
The Write Soul: www.chironokeefe.blogspot.com
I'm still scared to this day every time I release something so I know what you mean! I'm so excited for you, Rebecca! :-)
Post a Comment