When did taking care of ourselves get pushed onto a forgotten back burner? When we studied for exams, got married, kids came along, and we worked 9-to-5? When we’re under deadline? Those are the RIGHT times to make time! We’re not asking for a lot, just a mini-break from an often soul-crushing schedule. But how to make it happen?
Plan for Downtime: You’re busy, I get it! But even your laptop and cellphone need to recharge. When I had two boys, my escape was the bathroom for a weekly Calgon, take me away. A fragrant soak as hot as I could stand it and woe to any who knocked on the door. Now, without the luxury of a tub, I stretch out for a therapeutic nap (with or without cats), shoes off, curtains closed, on top of or under the covers. Whether I actually nap or not, isn’t the point. I’m relaxed, my mind is quiet in a ME-moment without interruption.
Me-cation: Following the example of a writer pal, I took my first last summer, renting a hotel suite, All By Myself, with a mini-kitchen, work desk, buffet breakfast and . . . hot tub and pool. Best money I ever spent. The hardest part was leaving everyone/everything behind without apology. This was a work vacay, so laptop demanded my day but then…Me time. No phone calling. No Social Media (well, not much!), unsettling at first then . . . delicious! No TV until evening. In my comfies unless I left the room. Five days of guilt-free bliss. You don’t need a residence suite, just a room and a desk and . . . silence!
Take a Mental Vacay: Can’t afford the real thing? Take a mental sabbatical. Close your eyes and picture that place where everything in your soul sighed. The sound of waves, scent of pines, crunch of leaves, the heat of the sun against your skin and eyelids, warm massage oil on tired muscles, the gentle rock of a boat—whatever floats it, put yourself there by pulling those cherished details into your senses. Breathe in then relax abdominal muscles, allowing each breath to escape as if your body is moaning. Continue for at least a minute.
Get Zen with Your Tightly Wound Self: I couldn’t sleep and when I finally did, I’d wake up two hours later, rehashing events from the day or those simply anticipated. Tension, worry, anxiety, leave me alone! A critique partner taught me a simple breathing trick that became my mental Calgon. After lights out, I draw a deep inhale to the slow count of four, hold it for another four count, release it slowly for an eight count, then pause without breath for a four count. Concentration is on the count and breathing. After a minute or two, mind and body are ready for a restful night and amazingly, I’d sleep right through. In the morning, I stand in the kitchen to the smell of my coffee brewing, inhale bringing arms overhead to the first four-count, hold them there for four, slowly bring them down for eight, and let lungs remain empty for four. This refresher centers my energy for the day.
Escape to the Movies: Whether the theater or just the couch, let body relax while mind is captivated. Lights out, feet up, popcorn optional, lose yourself in the past or future for a two-hour getaway. Make it a ritual to anticipate.
Walk the Dog: Get thee to the sidewalk! We have an elder dog who sees every bush and pole as a pee-mail op so this isn’t exercise as much relaxation. Breathe in that fresh air! Dream as you pass through the neighborhood about who lives in those houses, which one you’d pick to renovate. Notice the surroundings as seasons change . . . and the cracks in the sidewalk! It’s not a race. Clear your head and your lungs and the dog will thank you. No dog, your body and mind will thank you!
Music Calms the Savage Beast: Nothing takes me away from stress like my favorite tunes: In the car, while sitting on the deck, while working out to take the punishment out of those last few reps or miles. Whether you prefer calming instrumentals or Rob Zombie (Don’t judge!), music calms and clears mind and body.
Mini Indulgences: We pamper others but forget how good it feels to get spoiled. My idea of heaven is getting shampooed. I drive halfway across the state just to be pampered by my stylist. I’d never considered a massage until my D-I-L booked us tables at a spa. O-M-G! I’d never been so relaxed in my life! If I can get a massage once a year, even just hands or feet, I’m doing good, but it’s so worth it.
Bottom Line: Simple things can become Events, i.e. a botanical show, a play (local theatre or Hamilton), having nails done, browsing upscale places you can’t afford or a craft fair, going to the gym. Getting fifteen minutes of uninterrupted quiet. Pick your own Nirvana and stick to it. Arrange your schedule and be unavailable during these mental/physical therapy sessions. We work hard for our money, juggling, multi-tasking, deadlining. Do body, mind and soul a favor. Schedule “Me Time” into your planner for a happy, healthy you. Sometimes, you just gotta say, “Ahhhhhhh!”
What are your Go-To self-pampering escapes?
♚♚♚♚♚
Nancy Gideon on the Web
4 comments:
What a great post- and reminder of the importance of self-care. It's sad that we worry so much more about taking care of everyone, and everything else, but rarely put ourselves first. Great tips! P.S. I enjoy Rob Zombie as well ;)
Love the graphic. I want to escape to FL or Gulf Shores, yet here I am in cold, gray Michigan. No escape for me this year. So your post offers a great reminder that I can escape, despite the weather.
I agree with Maureen, this is a great post! Why is it that we take so long to look after ourselves? We're women. That's what we do--look after everyone else. After years of ragged nails, I finally got acrylics and, usually, go every other week for a manicure/fill. Since I have to wait for the polish to harden, I read my iPad. I never read for pleasure during the day, unless it's at the nail salon.
Getting to sleep is sometimes hard, for the reasons you mention. I've tried the number thing (count backwards, by 3s or 7s, just to make me concentrate), but I haven't tried the breathing counts. I'm going to give that a try.
Naps: yes!
Movies, music, and shampoos: double yes!!!
Taking care of ourselves isn't just important to us, it is to the people who live with us. When we're relaxed, they can be, too. Again, great post.
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