Solar Eclipse by Diane Burton

If you haven’t heard about the Great American Total Solar Eclipse, you must be on vacation from all news sources. Not to be confused with the Great American Cookout, which started in April and goes through November, the Solar Eclipse will last about two minutes. If you live in Hopkinsville, KY, you’re in luck. That’s where it will last the longest, two minutes and 40 seconds. It will take ninety minutes to cross the U.S. on a path from Oregon to South Carolina.

What’s going to happen? Basically, the moon will get between Earth and the Sun. Depending on where you live (or travel to), you’ll see  either the total eclipse (along that path from Oregon to South Carolina) or a partial. Where I live in west Michigan, we’ll see a partial. Think of a “fingernail” moon and that’s what we’ll see of the sun as the moon’s umbra (shadow) covers it. Like the one just to the left of the total eclipse below.

Exciting, right? We’re all going to rush outside to look. Right? Wrong. Unless you protect your eyes. Retailers all over the country are offering “eclipse” glasses for sale. Be sure they are safe or you could lose your sight.

Myths and Superstitions What could be scarier in ancient times than the sun disappearing? They had to come up with a reason. Like mythical figures eating or stealing the sun. In Vietnam, it was a giant frog, while the Norse blamed wolves for eating the sun. The Inuits thought the sun and moon were fighting. In Hindu mythology, the god Rahu devours the sun to stifle the light that provides life. Nasty guy.

The worst superstitions have to do with pregnant women. In fact, with prior eclipses, pregnant women were told to stay indoors. The Aztecs believed the eclipse might turn fetuses into mice. Yikes! I might have grandmice instead of two healthy boys. (In case you didn’t know, my daughter-in-law is expecting twins in November.) According to Mexican and South Asian myths, cleft palates are caused by the eclipse. Not so. Scientific evidence debunks those stories.

But one thing is true. Looking directly at the eclipse can damage your eyes. You can make a pinhole projector or buy special glasses. The following warnings are from the article on pinhole projectors.

Keep Safe!

§  Never look at the Sun directly without protective eye gear. Even sunglasses cannot protect your eyes from the damage the Sun's rays can do to them.

§  Always keep your back towards the Sun while looking at a pinhole projection.

§  Do not look at the Sun through the pinhole.

By the way, this is the first total solar eclipse to cross the U.S. in ninety years. So unless you plan to live a long, long, long time, it’s best to see it on August 21^st.

The Beginnings of a Poisonous Garden by C.J. Burright

Over the last decade or so, spring has brought with it an unfortunate tradition into my life. I go outside, inspired to garden with all the lovely flowers and innocent woodland creatures, and upon my return to the great indoors, it is inevitable. It has an appropriate name: poison oak, and the things it does to me are not in any way enjoyable. Puffy face. Horrible rash. Blisters. The itching is the stuff torture chambers in horror movies are made of. And I’ll be the first to admit that me + poison oak = dark things.

And while I was in that bleak place where I cursed the outdoors, plants, cats that wander into poison oak and bring it back to me, and even well-meaning husbands, the dark side of me (oh, yes. She most definitely exists) was inspired to write this post. What if, instead of beautiful flowers and edible vegetables, I planted a poisonous garden? *Rubs hands together and cackles* You never know when you might need to pass on a little poison, and here are a few plants that might be helpful. You know, so others might share in the misery.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Narcissus. Grinding up its bulb and sprinkling it in…oh, I don’t know, chocolate chip cookies that your innocent victims won’t suspect…will cause nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Too much can be fatal, so use accordingly. Did you know that this flower was named after the Greek legend Narcissus, who saw his reflection in water, became obsessed, and fell in? He drowned and made a comeback as the flower. Also, in ancient times, the flower’s perfume had a bad rep of causing headaches, madness and death. Definitely a good fit for a poison plant garden, eh? On the positive side, the bulbs may also be used as an antiseptic dressing for wounds, and mixing it (not too much!) with honey serves as a painkiller. I suppose it’s another case of user intent.

Lily of the Valley. Consuming its leaves and flowers will instigate irregular heart rate, digestive upset and mental confusion. Serving it to an unlucky, unsuspecting guest might make for good party entertainment, at least the mental confusion part. Once upon a time, Lily of the Valley was considered unlucky, said to have sprouted from St. Leonard’s wounds after he vanquished a dragon. That sounds like good luck to me, but whatever. And the Irish believe these flowers are used as fairy ladders…with a warning. The gardener who plants a bed of them will be struck dead in a year. So maybe keep only one plant in your poison garden. The ying to the poison yang: Lily of the Valley may alleviate the pain of gout, ease eye pain, restore speech, and help treat heart disease and memory. So once your victim is poisoned and undergoing mental confusion, if you’re feeling benevolent (or guilty) maybe you can use the same plant to restore their memory.  

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Nightshade. If you’re going to have a poisonous plant garden, Nightshade is a must. All parts of it are fatal, especially the unripened berries. Ingesting it causes intensive digestive issues, but more than that, Nightshade is alleged to be a favorite for witch’s spells. In centuries past, it was rumored that consuming small quantities would allow visions into the future. Take too much, though, and it’s madness instead. Also cool, Nightshade is an important ingredient for the flying ointment witches smeared over themselves to ride the skies. And keeping Nightshade close will keep evil spirits away. If only it worked on that demon poison oak…

via GIPHY
There are, of course, many other plants you could include in your poison garden, but I believe I’ve given you enough nefarious ideas for one day. Use your powers for good, people. 😊 Do you have any innocent-looking poisonous plants in your backyard? Are you vulnerable to the evils of poison oak like I am?