Sunday, October 30, 2011

The no good, very bad, fairly horrible Halloween costume by Stephanie Beck

In my twenty-six years, I’ve seen some wild costumes. Some have been amazing in their detail (and cost—yikes, $200 bucks for a costume?) and others have been...well, about as lame as my brothers wearing each others’ shirts and saying they were the other for Halloween.

Last year the pinnacle of horrible Halloween costumes came into fashion thanks to a not to be named pirate series starring a metro sexual pirate. Suddenly, a costume I’d seen occasionally over the years was all the rage. Not that I have anything against pirates, mind you. The fictitious kind are super and I love reading about them and even enjoy seeing them once in a while in costumed form.



However, this explosion of pirates simply brought no good. It wasn’t their behavior, oh no, these pirates, despite their loud ‘arrrghs’ and ‘aye aye maties’ were quite nice. It was their costumes. Homemade and store-bought—they were simply disasters waiting to happen.

Never have I seen so many white dress shirts with their cuffs unbuttoned and flared. A few shirts billowed (probably pilfered from their mother or grandmother’s stash left over from the ‘80’s) and by the end of the night, those larger shirts hung to the knees of tired trick or treaters, a safety disaster that led to a more than a few pair of even more ripped little pants. At parties, the sleeves got into the punch bowls, into the games and dragged glue from any kind of craft all over the tables and usually into the next room as well.

Then there was the sash many used on their heads. My favorite find of last Halloween was a ten-year-old boy sporting a red and pink poppy covered bandana, most likely pilfered from yet another mother or grandmother’s closet. Nothing says arrg like a flowered scarf with a nice ribbon edge.



And the eye patch. Who could forget the eye patch? Really? A little kid who is by nature clumsy and excitable and unable to walk a block without tripping over their own feet really needs to cover one eye? Thank goodness by the end of our trick or treating night the little ones had mostly put their patch up.

Last but not least in my world of observations—the drawn on eyeliner mustache.  It starts out so cute. The black eyeliner is a perfect tool. It’s dark and thin and does a really nice little curly mustache and is also great for giving cheeks the five o’clock shadow look. I’m sure my mother used it on us when we were young. The problem, however, occurs when you trick or treat in Minnesota on a cool October evening. By the end of the night, noses will be running and if you use black eyeliner or the like near the nose, it will be smudged—right onto a pirate’s billowing white sleeve.

To each their own, especially in the Halloween costume department, but I’m really hoping the pirate theme cools off this year. Enough swashbuckling and duct taped parrots—let’s see more ninjas or super heroes. Or maybe I am just a fuddy duddy and secretly think my brothers who switched shirts were on to something.

Happy Halloween!

Stephanie Beck

www.stephaniebeck.net






I’m giving away an ebook of Teaching Ms. Riggs and chocolate from Treats and Treasures in Lake City, Minnesota to one lucky visitor, so make sure you leave a comment and your email address!

**Name the best and worse costume you’ve ever seen in the comment section.**


24 comments:

Sondrae Bennett said...

I always admire the unusual costumes, or the play on words. You know, the person who tapes mangled cereal boxes all over their clothes and call themselves a cereal killer. I think those are fun.

Jennifer Mathis said...

my daughter is going as a pirate this year but there will be no mustache as she has loudly told everyone she is a girl pirate lol ( shes 5 and quite upset that her brother who is 6 has told her pirates are boys )

The Brunette Librarian said...

The dog picture did me in. Gotta laugh :)

We had a Halloween party on Friday...and had two pirates! HA! Very apropos huh? I'm more of a fan of the ghost and scary costumes :)

rachie2004 AT yah00 *d8t* c-m

elaing8 said...

LOL at your post.
Worst costume was a guy in a diaper with a pacifier..scary indeed :)
Best..hmmmm..I once saw this really elaborate princess costume,the lady had to have paid a fortune for it.It was gorgeous.

elaing8(at)netscape(dot)net

steph beck said...

I think a pirate can be done well...in certain situations.

I love the cereal killer idea, too funny.

And able bodied grown men should never wear diapers and have nuks--ever. Even on Halloween.

Thanks for stopping in everyone!

Stephanie Beck

Shonna said...

The worst costume I ever saw a guy dressed as a used maxi pad.
The best, well I am a sucker for any kid that comes to my door. They all are so cute there is no way to pick just one

Shonna said...

It is becoming so popular to dress pets in costumes now, I try to not only have a bowl with candy for the little ones, but a bowl with some doggie treats too. LOL!

steph beck said...

What a good idea (the dog treats, not the maxi--YUCK)

Thanks for sharing :)

Stephanie Beck

heather said...

Awww, I love the Jack Sparrow dog, too cute!
I went to a Halloween party Friday and everybody was dressed as a rock star. Adults, teens, even a toddler, guys and girls. It wasn't very creative, just alot of makeup and spiked hair.
The best was a women dressed as super mom. She was wearing a pink shirt that said 'Super Mom' with a pink tutu on top of black pants. Her belt had juice boxes, band-aids, sunscreen, etc velcroed to her belt. It was great.
chamblinh@gmail.com

Lulu said...

Worst "costumes" - kids that come to the door not dressed. They just stick a bag in your face and don't even say "Trick or Treat" or "Thank You".

Best costumes I've seen are the ones that are original - someone was a teabag and cup and their partner a teapot, then there's the road kill costume (guy actually had tire tracks going over him). That one was pretty creepy, yet funny.

lnichols2000 at yahoo dot com

steph beck said...

I'm with you, Lulu--if you're going to trick or treat--at least put on a wig or something to celebrate.

I like partnered costumes too. One year my kids were both cows and my husband and I wore straw hats--our nod to the farmer :)

Rock stars would be fun, but not if everyone is one--that would just be loud!

Thanks for stopping in ladies :)

Stephanie Beck

*yadkny* said...

The worst costume I've seen so far has been someone wearing an Osama Bin Laden costume. To me, that's just really poor taste.

I really like the Disney Princess costumes:)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Everyone!

yadkny@hotmail.com

steph beck said...

I'm not a fan of costumes with any political bent, just not a super idea--though I could rock a Nixon mask :)

And Princesses make me happy!
Thanks for stopping by :)

Stephanie Beck

Mary said...

At a party recently, someone came dressed in his street clothes with one exception, beneath each eye he had two letters. On the left it read, "BO" and on the right "OK."

Ah, yes...he came dressed as Facebook!

mary.behre@gmail.com

steph beck said...

Oh funny! I 'like' that (bahahha), though. It's creative and different.

Thanks for stopping :)

Stephanie Beck

Pretty Eyes said...

The best costume I have seen is a little girl dressed up as a genie. She really looked like she could take off in flight! The worst one I saw was a poodle dressed up in a wig and a dress to look like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz - and the female owner dressed up as Toto!

prettyeyes(at)gmail(dot)com

steph beck said...

Oh no way! A dog dressed up as Dorothy and owner as Toto? That's nuts! I imagine it could be done well, but...I wouldn't want to LOL

Thanks for stopping :)

Stephanie Beck

mnjcarter said...

I don't know about the worst, but the sickest costume I ever saw was a guy with a toilet seat around his neck, his face was painted brown and toilet paper with brown paint was stuck to his head! EEWWW!!

Okay, I live in MN and have never heard of Lake City, had to look it up. Seeing it now, I'm sure I must have at least passed through it. See, learn something new everyday, even if it is geography!

mnjcarter@charter.net

Arianne Cruz said...

Aww I've only seen a few costumes here coz I came in the U.S. as a teenager. I would say the best costumes would be whatever my family wears :D
email: cruz042 at csusm dot edu

Eva's Flowers said...

Best costume I saw a couple of years ago, actually it was two of them, I think they were related cause they were trick-or-treating together...one was a washing machine including a small box of Tide perched on the end, and other kid was an iPod that had their music listing. Someone in that family was very creative, you could tell they were handmade ver well! As for worst, can't say I've seen really bad ones...

Eva
evitap67(at)gmail(dot)com

June M. said...

My favorite costumes are cute and fun ones (princesses, pirates, vamps, etc.) I am so glad I did not see the Maxi guy (that is just gross)
June M.
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

Shonna said...

Everyone please remember to check your porch lights before tonight. Keep your walks clear and easy to see so little feet can get to your door without falling

Annie Nicholas said...

contest closed

steph beck said...

Thanks for hosting me again this year, Annie! And thanks everyone for the awesome comments and great ideas for which costumes to look into and which to avoid!

Stephanie Beck
www.stephaniebeck.net