We Never Talk Anymore . . . by Nancy Gideon

If you’re in the ‘real’ world and hear voices in your head, you see a therapist and go on meds, but it’s perfectly normal to hear the continual conversations of those who don’t exist if you’re a writer. When you’re driving to work, when you’re watching your kid play Little League, and especially when you’re trying to get to sleep – yammer, yammer, yammer – and usually never when you’re near paper and pencil. Talkative characters are a writer’s best friend, telling you who they are, how they feel, filling in your word count to make every sit down at the keyboard a little easier. Giving you direction and CONTENT. Sometimes, you just wish they’d shut up and let you work (or sleep!).

But what happens when they fall silent.


I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember an argument. Was it something I said or did? Suddenly, I stopped hearing those snippets of conversation that had me rushing (but not speeding!) to the office to scribble down those pithy quips. It was unnerving, that absolute lack of inspiration. I’d sit at the keyboard and nothing would come to me. I’d lie awake to the sound of the cat snoring. The drives to work were filled with traffic noise. It’s not like I had nothing to write about. I was chapters deep in the final book of 15 in a series. I had plotlines to tie up, characters to revisit and enjoy. Where did everyone go?

Moody and frustrated, I started filling in those hours between 4:30 and 7:30 a.m. scrolling social media and binge-watching TV series (Riverdale, Castle Rock, Bosch and Luther – highly recommend!), and the conversations I heard at night were from other authors’ characters. Mine had nothing to say. Never in my 30-year career had I felt so . . . alone. Did I still want to write? Maybe it was time to put that childhood dream away. I had plenty to do with a high-stress new job, the approach of Medicare years and retirement, TV series to watch, books to read, family to take care of. The Golden Years. Why beat myself up struggling to find an audience amongst the hoard of indie authors who slapped up new titles every month without a single edit? After over 70 manuscripts, maybe the word well had gone dry.

I stopped going to writer meetings, quit engaging on my media sites, started sleeping in, began labeling myself as a legal assistant instead of a published author. I became one of those people I’d never understood – an author who had nothing more to say and voluntarily walked away.

But I’m not a quitter. I’ll never go quietly into that good night. I wanted my voices back, my passion back from wherever it was hiding. I had to flush the suckers out. But how? Give it no place to hide.

Things weren’t happening at my home office so I took my laptop on the road – to a critique group weekend, a former co-worker’s lake house, and finally to a king suite in a hotel. I reread and outlined the chapters I’d already written. I ignored blog posts in favor of impromptu three to four-page scenes from later in my W.I.P. And words appeared on the screen, a few painfully wrung out sentences at first and then a steady stream. But the minute I was back in my day-to-day, they dried up. Time to change that forced time at the keyboard to a little self-discovery of motive (Hey, I do it with characters all the time!) What was keeping me from my writing? I narrowed it down and confronted those things head-on.

I made my writing time sacred again. I faced the fact that while I loved the income and benefits, the setting, and the people, I really, really disliked that dream job I’d had for eight months. I was a people person trapped in data entry hell. I checked job search sites – and there it was – that opening I wanted in a field I understood where I’d be dealing with clients. I interviewed. And while driving home on that same road I’d traveled for three years just down the street from the last small firm I loved, I heard whispering in my head. Dialogue. I start the new job June 5th. A ton of tension dropped off my shoulders. I got back into daily mini-meditations. I went to a day-long Write In and created not just words but pages of them!!

I’m baaaack!


Don’t let roadblocks stop you! Identify what’s in your way. Look for alternate routes. Make repairs and continue on. If you’re characters aren’t talking, maybe it’s because you’re not listening.

What advice or tricks can you share on how to deal with that sudden wall of silence?

♚♚♚♚♚

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