Thursday, November 17, 2022

The Naughty List: Free on Amazon

 


The Naughty List

by L. A. Kelley

Amazon Free Days: November 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

This isn't a typical Yuletide tale.


Murder, mystical artifacts, an invisible demon with anger management issues, and an overbearing cupid—not what Rosalie Thatcher put on her Christmas list.

The holidays had always been a magical time for Rosalie, but not this year. The new manager at Penrose’s Department Store is determined to make this season the most profitable in the store’s history. Introducing arbitrary rules was bad enough, but forcing Rosalie into the stupid elf hat was the worst. The worst, that is, until she meets a real E.L.F. (Elemental Life Form) named David and gets lassoed into a desperate hunt for the stolen Naughty and Nice List. Now Rosalie and David must dodge a murderous invisible demon and recover the missing artifact before hellhounds track them down. The couple race against time for without the influence of the Naughty and Nice List the world will tumble into eternal chaos.


Excerpt:

 A knock sounded at the door. Rosalie groaned. She was not in the mood for company. Maybe if she stayed quiet, the person would go away. Someone knocked again.

 “Rosalie?” A man cleared his throat. “May I have a word, please?”

 She wrinkled her brow, not recognizing the voice. Sliding the chain across, she cracked open the door.

“Hi. I’m David. I’m not a stalker—”

 She slammed the door in his face. How dare he show up at her home! Rosalie’s fingers clenched.

 “Please,” he begged. “I really need to talk to you.” She glanced around for her purse.

 David rapped again. “Rosalie, give me five minutes…one minute?”

She reached inside and pulled out an aerosol can and her phone. He would so regret this.

“You don’t understand.” David pounded on the door. “You’re in danger.”

The door whipped open. Rosalie stood tight-jawed with a small aerosol can in one hand and her cellphone in the other. “Either cops or pepper spray. You have five seconds.”

 “Rosalie, please—”

 “Four.”

 “If you just—”

 “Three.”

 “Please, listen—”

 “Two.”

 “Um, I know Santa.”

 “One.”

David vanished. An instant later two hands behind her yanked both the can and cellphone away. She spun around and stared dumfounded as he threw the pepper spray on the floor and put the cellphone in his pocket. How did he move so fast?

“Rosalie, if you only—ow!”

 She kicked him in the shin.

“Quit it! I won’t hurt you. I only want to talk.” He motioned to the bag on the floor. “I brought dinner.”

 “I don’t care if you brought your own personal chef!” she yelled. “Get the hell out of my apartment. You…you…snitch.”

 He looked completely perplexed. “I think we have a misunderstanding—”

 “That’s it—I’m making some noise.” Rosalie took a deep breath as if to scream. David’s hand shot out and grabbed her. The apartment dissolved into nothingness.

 “Aaaaa—” Rosalie cut off mid-yell. Her head whipped back and forth in stunned amazement. “W-Where am I? What did you do?” Her heart thumped wildly as she gulped in a deep lungful of air.

“We’re on top of Penrose’s.” David leaned over and rubbed his shin. “Man, that’s gonna leave a bruise.”

“Penrose’s? Penrose’s?” Impossible, but they were suddenly four stories above the parking lot down below. “How did we get here?” she demanded, fear tinging her voice. “I don’t remember anything—” Fear turned to rage as the only logical explanation hit her. “You slipped me a roofie.”

“Of all the… I would never…” he protested with an indignant sputter. “I’m sorry I scared you. If you listen for a moment, I’ll explain everything.”

“Forget it. You have nothing I need to hear.”

Glaring, Rosalie backed up, not realizing she was dangerously close to the edge of the building.

“Rosalie, wait!” David leaped forward to stop her.

Startled by his sudden movement, she stumbled, hit the low curb around the roofline, and lost her balance. Flailing wildly, Rosalie screamed as she toppled over the side.

David snagged her hand. “I have you!” He clung to her with a grimace, bracing his feet against the low wall.

Her fingers inched out of his grasp. “Help me,” she choked out, panic-stricken. “I can’t hold on.”

David strained with the effort to pull her up. “I…won’t…let…you…fall.”

Her fingers slipped. Rosalie screamed and suddenly the world went black again.


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3 comments:

Nancy Gideon said...

Oooooh! What a compelling snippet. Just what I need to start my list of holiday reads.

Diane Burton said...

Wow. Great excerpt.

Maureen said...

Sounds like a great holiday read and an awesome sale! Thanks for sharing!